EVERYTHING ABOUT

MIDLIFE CRISIS

Every week I am posting about  everything you need to know about hormones. This weeks topic is about midlife crisis.

Did You Know – Midlife Crisis

  • The term “midlife crisis” has been around since the 1960s
  • Comes from psychoanalyst Elliot Jacques, who came up with the term in 1965 after noticing significant changes in one of his middle-aged clients
  • Refers to a phase in a middle-aged person’s life wherein they feel compelled to face and/or re-evaluate their mortality, confidence, identity, and accomplishments
  • Midlife crisis is generally accepted to occur in the years between ages 40 and 60, but there’s about 10 years of wiggle room on either side of this range
  • Happens to both men and women
  • BUT many experts consider the midlife crisis more of a myth than anything else
  • You’re unlikely to find any evidence-backed lists of key signs or defined stages
  • Much of what people generally believe about midlife crises tends to come from the media, not scientific evidence
  • As few as 10 to 20% of people actually face some kind of crisis in middle age
  • For many, the crisis presents as a period of existential self-evaluation, questioning life choices or behaviours, aka a period of soul-searching
  • For some, this period is a true “crisis,” one that causes them to act out of character in various ways, small or drastic
  • Suddenly, you question everything you’ve devoted the last couple of decades to
  • Carefully-laid life plans don’t seem to make sense anymore
  • Most people work their way through their midlife crises without much trouble, quickly finding a new balance
  • Some struggle with depression or anxiety as they face the next stage of their life with feelings of lost youth and a desire to turn back the clock
  • About 13% of women and 15% of men report undergoing a time of emotional upheaval during their middle-aged years
  • Men tend to focus on achievement and their desire for success and the esteem of others which might involve the purchase of fancy sports cars, affairs or brand-new families
  • Irritable Man Syndrome affects 50% of men over 45
  • Women, on the other hand, tend to fixate on their looks and whether or not they feel sexually attractive and dive into the world of plastic surgery
  • Menopausal Syndrome affects 85% of women over 45
  • As you approach the autumn of your young adult years, don’t think of it as an ending rather a new beginning
  • Maybe the period should be referred to as Midlife Transition.

Meet Sally and get to know all about midlife crisis

Intro

The biochemistry of midlife transition

The beauty of aging

My midlife transition

Signs & Symptoms of Transition

At one point as we age, it’s completely normal to experience some mild unease or regret. Understanding the symptoms of transition can empower you

Do you recognize any of these

  • Feeling stuck in a rut or hopeless about your options for the future
  • Feeling the need for an adventure and or change
  • Questioning long-held beliefs
  • Your plan isn’t working anymore, everything you’ve established, your job, your relationship, your ‘normal’ routine, now feels stagnant and stifling
  • Life feels like it’s on autopilot, you’re running but no goal is in sight, you’ve lost your purpose, confused and unclear on direction
  • Waffling on decisions, procrastinating, feeling paralysed, frustrated, debating but not taking action
  • Everything feels like a chore, lost the passion, others needs become a burden
  • Displaying dramatic changes in mood, such as irritability or anger, lashing out and blaming others or feeling sad, hopeless, or helpless
  • Experiencing bouts of depression, remorse or anxiety
  • Feeling listless or bored
  • Feeling apathetic ,you feel “blah” about everything on an ongoing basis
  • Making big changes that aren’t ‘you’, out-of-character life changes
  • Engaging in erratic or impulsive decision-making, such as purchasing a sports car
  • Oversleeping or experiencing the inability to sleep
  • Dread getting out of bed
  • Obsessing over how you look and changing your personal appearance
  • Frustrated with life roles and responsibilities
  • Changing career paths
  • Bored and dissatisfied with your relationship, career, or life in general
  • You’re successful, but not satisfied, the ‘is that all there is’ feeling
  • Less motivated or interested in pursuing goals and activities you used to enjoy
  • Changes in sexual desire
  • Disconnecting with old friends and replacing them with ‘younger’ friends
  • Straying from the marriage or long-term relationship, committing infidelity
  • Increasing alcohol or drug use
  • Obsessed with thoughts about your mortality, death, the meaning of life, and other existential concepts
  • Aimlessness or a loss of life purpose
  • Self-doubt
  • Overwhelmed by the ticking clock, years are rolling by, overwhelmed by the time left to live out dreams.

Midlife Transition for Men

Is it a Midlife Crisis or is it Andropause?

Many men struggle with the way they look and feel as they age:

  • Balding
  • Trouble maintaining a healthy weight
  • Enlarged male breast tissue
  • Increased tummy fat
  • Trouble adding muscle mass
  • Erectile dysfunction
  • Fatigue
  • Low libido
  • Depression
  • Procrastination
  • More cautious / less of a risk taker

NB!

All of the above symptoms are linked to the natural decline of testosterone and the subsequent increase in Estrogen, aka Andropause. These symptoms can drastically interfere with relationships and sense of self. How many did you tick?

Not all men experience all of the symptoms, nor of the same intensity. The more stressful life is due to midlife environmental stressors and life changes, the harder the transition, such as:

  • Kids are getting older
  • Parenting is becoming more complex
  • Kids leaving the ‘nest’ for the first time
  • Career and its responsibilities at its peak
  • Relationships with loved ones may be changing
  • Financial burdens may be peaking

 

What to do?

Acknowledge it

  • You can’t overcome what you don’t acknowledge
  • It’s ok to feel the way you are feeling
  • You will never be that man you were
  • You can be ‘much’ better

Self-assessment

  • Where do you spend your time and energy, what’s working for you, what’s meaningful for you?
  • Where are your energy vampires?
  • What’s sucking your energy?
  • What’s energizing you?
  • This may include relationships: letting go of toxic ones, finding new.

Lose the Guilt

  • Don’t feel bad about your self-exploration, self-building is not selfish
  • Building your new self is your most important assignment

Keep a Gratitude Journal

  • Write down the things and experiences that make you feel grateful
  • Let it guide you
  • Fill your life will those experiences

Make your Health a Priority

  • Reach out to a professional
  • Some form of Hormone Therapy may be your best option
  • Blocking the conversion of Testosterone to Estrogen to maintain natural levels of Testosterone may be the best way to start
  • Maybe there are other nutrients and supplements that can make your transition easier
  • Regular exercise
  • High Intensity Strength Training for optimal muscle and bone mass is a priority
  • 7 – 8 hours uninterrupted sleep, best from 10pm as often as possible.

Tap Into the Brotherhood

  • You’re not alone
  • Talking with other men can be supporting
  • Men who have transitioned can share ideas or tips.

Midlife Transition  for Women

Is it a Midlife Crisis or is it Menopause?

Many women struggle with the way they look and feel as they age:

  • Problems with memory
  • Loss of interest and passion
  • Suddenly sad for no reason
  • Can’t hold focus and concentration as before
  • Emotionally sensitive / fragile / tears come at the drop of a hat for the strangest of things / small breakdowns
  • Poor sleep – wake a lot during the night
  • Lack of reserve, more tired than usual
  • Shrinking breast tissue, increased tummy tissue aka fat
  • Low libido
  • Not feeling sexy
  • Not feeling attractive

NB!

All of the above symptoms are linked to the natural decline of Estrogen (and Progesterone), aka Menopause. These symptoms can drastically interfere with relationships and sense of self. How many did you tick?

Not all women experience all of the symptoms, nor of the same intensity. The more stressful life is due to midlife environmental stressors and life changes, the harder the transition, such as:

  • Kids are getting older
  • Parenting is becoming more complex
  • Kids leaving the ‘nest’ for the first time
  • Career and its responsibilities at its peak
  • Relationships with loved ones may be changing
  • Financial burdens may be peaking

 

What to do?

Acknowledge it

  • You can’t overcome what you don’t acknowledge.
  • It’s ok to feel the way you are feeling
  • You will never be that woman you were
  • You can be ‘much’ better

Self-assessment

  • Where do you spend your time and energy, what’s working for you, what’s meaningful for you?
  • Where are your energy vampires?
  • What’s sucking your energy?
  • What’s energizing you?
  • This may include relationships: letting go of toxic ones, finding new.

Lose the Guilt

  • Don’t feel bad about your self-exploration, self-building is not self-ish
  • Building your new self is your most important assignment

Keep a Gratitude Journal

  • Write down the things and experiences that make you feel grateful
  • Let it guide you
  • Fill your life will those experiences

Make your Health a Priority

  • Reach out to a professional
  • Some form of Hormone Therapy may be your best option
  • Replacing Estrogen may be the best way to start
  • Maybe there are other nutrients and supplements that can make your transition easier
  • Regular exercise
  • High Intensity Strength Training for optimal muscle and bone mass is a priority
  • 7 – 8 hours uninterrupted sleep, best from 10pm as often as possible

Tap Into the Sisterhood

  • You’re not alone
  • Talking with other women can be supporting
  • Women who have transitioned can share ideas or tips.

The Beauty of Aging

  • The Chinese call the period after transition ‘the 2nd Spring’ the birth of the next chapter of life – isn’t that beautiful?
  • WOW – you get a second chance at creating happiness, health, wealth, love
  • We go from ego-focused to soul-focused
  • We have increased emotional intelligence
  • People often underestimate the amount of life they have left ahead of them
  • Many 50 years old women can have as many ‘adult’ years in front of them as behind them

Eg. Age 18 to 50 = 32 years – Age 50 – 82 = 32 years

  • What will you do in your next 32 years?
  • Don’t let cultural framing write off the ability to learn new things or make major changes in mid-life
  • Different countries have different cultural framing about aging
  • Eastern cultures holds its elders in high esteem
  • Western cultures do the opposite
  • Think of yourself as being an ‘elder’ not elderly, old or senior
  • Elders have great wisdom and experiences to share
  • Getting older doesn’t mean you get old
  • Live more authentically away from all the “to-dos” and “should dos”
  • Make more space for more of the things that feel important
  • Focus on the possibilities and live your remaining years feeling more fulfilled, happier, and healthier
  • It’s never too late to make the life you want
  • Never too late to re-invent yourself
  • Get comfortable being a beginner again, become an internet scholar
  • Don’t stay fixed in your mind
  • Be useful not youthful
  • Get clear on what you have to offer the world
  • Make sure you age with attitude
  • Louis Armstrong once said – “Musicians don’t retire they stop when there is no more music in them”
  • Carlos Santana said – go inside to find the sound
  • Which tune will you play after 50?

The Biochemistry of Midlife Transition

During midlife biochemistry changes

Testosterone
– makes you feel sexual, sensual, seductive, dark, with a dangerous undertone

Estrogen
– makes you feel service minded, a multitasker, with warm and sensual undertones

The hormonal knock-on effects of the natural decline in the hormones Testosterone and Estrogen are extensive and still being understood, such as:

  • Progesterone levels drop which can increase anxiety
  • Serotonin levels drop increasing feelings of dissatisfaction,
  • Dopamine levels drop, as does your cognitive and motor performance
  • Cortisol levels are unchecked as are stress levels with a resulting inability to cope with situations which were once a piece of cake
  • Melatonin drops as does sleep quality and quantity
  • Mitochondrial dysfunction increases maybe through loss of mitochondrial DNA with the resulting lower energy production

All of the above will affect your production of brain chemicals and change the way you think and feel, thus promoting new physical actions.

Welcome to your midlife transition!

Transitioning Your Midlife Transition

The emotional turmoil of a midlife crisis can lead to a lot of serious feelings and thinking, but it doesn’t have to be all bad.

Here are some tips to help you grow

  • Replace some hormones
  • Acknowledge your feelings they are valid, even though they are coming from the change in biochemistry
  • Talk to a close friend, family member or get professional guidance before making any drastic changes
  • Keep a journal to establish patterns and joys
  • Self-discovery is key to finding out what’s good, what’s bad what’s missing
  • Establish a picture of what you makes you proud, happy, at ease, what drives you, what is missing
  • Evaluate your skills and values
  • Try a new activity – explore your passions
  • Volunteer
  • Learn something new, maybe back to school through online courses
  • Take a break and travel
  • Get out of your comfort zone
  • Revisit old dreams and create new goals
  • Focus on your physical health through exercise and proper nutrition
  • ‘Thinking positively about getting older extends one’s life by seven-and-one half years, which is more than the longevity gained from low blood pressure or low cholesterol or by maintaining a healthy weight, abstaining from smoking and exercising regularly. Read this study by a Yale researcher 
  • You’re in charge of the journey, don’t feel afraid to meander off the main path. The more ground you cover through self-discovery, the more you’ll discover about yourself.

My Transition

Since 50..

I have accomplished all these amazing things:

  • At 52 years opened and managed a new multi- therapy clinic in Copenhagen
  • At 54 years studied brain health & mindset in the US
  • At 56 years went back to university to study a masters in nutritional medicine
  • From 50 to present day follow online courses and educations in hormones, gut health, skin, diet
  • From 50 years started educating others in nutrition, hormones, cosmetic acupuncture – READ ABOUT BECOMING A FUNCTIONAL HORMONE THERAPIST 
  • At 57 years moved to Lanzarote to live and to work at Club La Santa – READ ABOUT CLUB LA SANTA HERE 
  • At 60 years published my first book – Beauty Foods – READ MORE ABOUT MY BOOK HERE 
  • At 61 years I starting dating again and in a new way ie. online
  • At 64 years I started an online Holistic Beauty Therapy Education with 2 amazing DK women Laura Bonné and Tanja Eskildsen
  • At 64 years lockdown forced me to change the way I work – now more online, and I love it
  • At 65 years I started my first ever radio show – The Happy Health show on Monster Radio – major learning and evolution required for this transition
  • At 65 years I will publish my 2nd book Amazing Skin

So I had to evolve, which demanded my focus and attention in new ways requiring energy and flexibility

  • I love that I am still learning every day
  • I love that I have the courage to be ‘self-ish’ and do things that help me and make me grow, feel happy, feel of use to others
  • All I can say to whatever comes next? – bring it on – things can only get better 😊

Questions? Please don't hesitate to contact me

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